In this week’s Hitched column for The Frisky, I write about how I understand that people see the “giving away” part of a wedding ceremony as adorable and sweet, but for me, it’s too rooted in traditions of ownership to be something I’m comfortable incorporating into my own wedding:
But just because something is sweet doesn’t mean it doesn’t have terribly sour undertones. For me, there’s no escaping the fact that being “given away” is rooted in a long, long tradition of women being treated as pieces of property to be transferred from one man to another. However moving the question “Who gives this woman in marriage?” may seem in the moment, it’s fundamentally a sales transaction.
I have a lot to offer Patrick, but I don’t come with a dowry — however good I may be at mixing cocktails and emptying the cat boxes. You can’t put those things in a wedding chest. And even if you did, you wouldn’t want them if they’d been sitting in there for any length of time.
Predictably, commenters are pissed that I’m being so uppity and disrespectful.