Your Texas legislators (in my head, I say that like they’re your Texas Rangers, you know, YOOOOOUUUURRRR TEXAS LEEEEEEEGISLATOOOOOOORRRRRS!) have been hard at work ensuring Texas women stay poor, unhealthy and miserable. Plus more:
- Contraception kills marriage: it’s science according to D-FW Catholic. Y’all know what doesn’t kill marriage? Women having no control over their reproductive functions and popping out child after child because every last sperm is sacred (well, every sperm except those that priests expend abusing children, those sperm just get moved around the country until they die, but I digress) and every last egg has to be used up or else women burn in eternal hellfire.
- It’s not that Republican Bob Deuell doesn’t want poor women to not have access to reproductive health care, he just doesn’t want poor women to have access to reproductive health care easily and cheaply.
- Today, Governor Rick Perry will sign the pre-abortion forced trans-vaginal probe for women seeking legal reproductive health care bill into law.
- In fact, here are some more ways in which our Republican legislators are making us safer and more economically sound by making absolutely everything they can about women’s reproductive organs and how they think they should use them.
- Some news place says at-home birth is increasingly “trendy” in West Texas.
- Annie’s Project helps Texas women become better farmers.
- Here’s how excited the Houston Police Department is about the fact that they may have to solve crime by actually processing rape kits: “Houston Police Department spokesman Kese Smith said “contact us when it becomes law… or if it becomes law.” BURRRRRRRRRRRN!
- A Texas attorney who advised homeowners’ associations not to disclose to residents whether sex offenders lived in their neighborhoods has been convicted of having child pornography.
- A Texas pastor killed himself in jail while being held on rape charges.
- Court errors will help six adults who forced children to perform sex acts at their East Texas club go free.
- A woman who told flight attendants on a Dallas to Atlanta flight that the man next to her had repeatedly tried to assault her in-flight may be forced to give defense attorneys access to her Facebook page so they can
slut shame her in court if she’s ever posted anything remotely sexualdefend their client.
- Fox News El Paso asks, “Does having children make you happy?” Upcoming investigative reports to ask, “Is it hot in here?” and “What do you guys want for dinner?”
- Marisol Valles Garcia, the police chief and “bravest woman in Mexico” is seeking asylum in Texas.
- A Lubbock rapist wants forgiveness not, you know, for raping anyone, but because the wrong guy got caught.
- The progressive, forward-thinking people of liberal enclave Garland, Texas have magnanimously decided to let a girl be the school mascot after her brother got a turn.