Anti-choice Republican and Houston native U.S. Sen. John Cornyn III majored in journalism, trained as a lawyer, sat as a judge for several years, and according to his Wikipedia page, was even a potential Supreme Court candidate back in 2005. Sounds like the kind of guy who likes to have all the information. Right?
Except Cornyn is not sure that that not intended to be a factual statement statement from Sen. John Kyl was not actually not a factual statement, in fact, his statement may actually not even have been not-not factual enough, even though Kyl’s people admitted it was not really a factual statement, at least not intended to be, once it was pointed out by everyone in the free world that, in fact, over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is not abortion, but preventative care, contraception and treatment.
If that last paragraph was a bit confusing, let me sum up: it is inconvenient for John Cornyn to believe that the vast majority of Planned Parenthood’s services are not abortion, therefore he told the Texas Tribune that he did not want anyone from Planned Parenthood giving him a tour of their facilities, because he has heard from somewhere that 98 percent of Planned Parenthood’s services are abortion, and so that is true in the way that it confirms his worldview, which is that … sluts?
I guess that wasn’t really a clearer way of saying it. Let me try again. If John Cornyn were to do a modicum of research into Planned Parenthood and their practices, which can be done via a third party if he wants to, because Guttmacher and the U.S. government and suchlike do keep tabs on these kinds of things because of the nature of the way public funding is alotted to family planning in this country, he could find out what Planned Parenthood does, and he could even go check out a clinic if he wanted to, and then he might have a better idea of what goes on at Planned Parenthood beyond simply believing someone (who?) when they told him 98 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion, and as a result Cornyn might realize that simply believing something is true, or wanting it to be true, doesn’t make it true, even if believing it does awesome things like keep poor people poor, women marginalized, children uncared for, state finances burdened, and–best of all! wait for it!–incumbents incumbents.
Oh, eff it. Let’s try again: if John Cornyn were to actually attempt to learn any actual facts about Planned Parenthood’s services, the value of family planning funding, the causes of abortion, the benefits of having a sexually healthy population, which he would do if he took a tour of Planned Parenthood or, I don’t know, a comprehensive sexual education class geared at 12-year-olds, he would realize that he’s screwing over his constituency by refusing to engage with actual issues in a meaningful way because engaging with those issues would prove him wrong.
No? How about:
John Cornyn is an assbag.