This Is What A Crisis Pregnancy Center Press Release Looks Like, “4 U”!

Recently NARAL Pro-Choice America has been investigating North Carolina’s 122 crisis pregnancy centers, where religious fanatics make an adorable, Jesus-based game out of shaming women who believe they can come to them for medical treatment and sound, objective advice.

It’s great to have that NARAL resource now that more and more crisis pregnancy centers in Texas are receiving government funding as actual medical providers are closing down because of budget cuts. Today, I got this press release for a Keller, Texas crisis pregnancy center called “Pregnancy Help 4 U,” which recently opened in rural-suburban North Texas. You know they’re totally hip and with it because 4 U! So edgy. So relatable.

I’ve never seen a CPC press release before, and oh dear:

The center provides support at NO cost for Pregnancy Tests, Sonograms, Proof of Pregnancy, Application, and other information for Medicaid, Adoption and Parenting Resources, Counseling (Post-abortion Grief, Abortion Alternatives, Abstinence, Prenatal and Postnatal Assistance, etc), Community Resources and Referral (Maternity Home and Materials, Legal Aids, Clinical Counseling), Volunteer opportunities and so much more.

The “and so much more” includes, uh, vitamins?

An anonymous single, teen client reported that the once lonely path is now filled with hope. The heartbeats on the screen of the sonogram not only revealed to her the real life inside her body, she also discovered the joy of motherhood, especially when the fears of all the unknowns were replaced by well-informed options, practical assistance and compassionate care. “They got me plugged in with a doctor in my area and gave me vitamins and baby items. I don’t feel alone now. Yes, my boyfriend is gone, at least I have them to lean on.” Later on, the client’s parents were also able to share the excitement of identifying the gender of their grandbaby.

Of course, the great thing about Planned Parenthood, say, as opposed to a crisis pregnancy center, is that YOU CAN GO THERE AND IMMEDIATELY BE PLUGGED IN WITH A DOCTOR BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE DOCTORS WORK. But yeah, no doubt those vitamins and “baby items” are gonna solve all a pregnant, single teen mother’s problems and ensure that she gets sound medical care and advice. After all, she knows the sex (not the gender!) of her child, so everything’s gonna be great.

The press release also notes that “Currently, donations are being sought for the upgrade of the existing sonogram equipment to provide the sound of the heartbeats.” Me? I’d rather donate so that they can at least afford to re-name themselves to the still technically inaccurate and misleading, but at least grammatically sound, “Pregnancy Care For You.”

About andrea grimes

Andrea is a journalist living in Austin, TX. She has a master's degree in anthropology and did her thesis work on gender and stand-up comedy. Seriously. Also, she has a bunch of cats. Three of them. Is three a bunch? Discuss.
This entry was posted in abortion, feminism, health care, politics, pregnancy. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to This Is What A Crisis Pregnancy Center Press Release Looks Like, “4 U”!

  1. There is an anti-abortion group that pickets outside my husband’s office. One time, I had occasion to drop him off at the office, and had to drive past them coming and going. One of them was holding the sign that said, “Pregnant? Need Help?”
    I happened to be pregnant.
    So I MAY have pulled up, rolled down my window and said, “OH THANK GOD.”
    They got all excited, and there was this flurry of activity to see who was gonna get to “help” me. One of them leaned in and said, “How can we help you?”

    Me: “Are you available at 3?”
    Protester: *puzzled look* 3, ma’am?”
    Me: “yeah, I’m pregnant, and I need help.”
    Protester: “Is it unplanned? Do you need counseling?”
    Me: “No, no, I need help. The first grader needs to be picked up at 3, and I have a doctor’s appointment at 2:30. Can you pick her up if this goes long?”
    Protester: “Um, you want me to pick up your kid from school?”
    Me: “Yes! I’m pregnant, and I need help. So HELP.”
    Protester: “Um, we don’t do that.”
    Me: “I think you need more specific signs.”

  2. Julie Almanrode says:

    Regarding the national article about name changing … just want to say that I don’t know where Grimes came from, but it’s probably your dad’s name. So, unless you change your name completely, you still have a man’s name – your daddy’s – because your mommy understood gender difference (and there are gender differences in spite of what we want to do about it) and the power of being a woman who understands she has a unique role in life that no one else could fulfill – being Mrs. Grimes. It’s an honor to know that one man loves you and only you. To take his name is saying that you know you’re that part of him he couldn’t find in any other woman. True feminism is being a woman, a real feminine woman. I had to learn that concept over years of being trained as a ‘feminist’ in schools and college and realizing it wasn’t actually all that it was cracked up to be. I made a complete U-turn from my culture and its crazy desire to CREATE gender confusion and raised my daughters to be women who love their femininity and my sons to be men and love their masculinity. None of them are having identity, gender crisis’ like their peers’ generation who have been told there is no male or female and somehow can’t figure out whether they’re a he, she or IT. How ridiculous! My thoughts to you – Traditions can be quite freeing – and I bet deep down your fiance would love for you to have his name rather than your dad’s. By the way, is your dad ‘giving you away’ to your husband? That’s all part of the tradition! I do hope you have a beautiful wedding and the marriage of a lifetime. Sincere Congratulations!

  3. matto@aol.com says:

    While I agree with maintaining the basic right to choice, I think you’re sorely mistaken in thinking most PPs have physicians working at them when in fact many do not hence why they’re not regulated as ambulatory surgical centers. Woeful naivity is one thing, but as a reporter, you should know better.

    • “Medical professionals,” then. I’ve been to a lot of Planned Parenthoods, and I’ve never been to one that wasn’t staffed by medical professionals. If I needed medical assistance, I could get it at a PP. I could not get it at a CPC. If you need to split hairs, find something to argue about that I’ve actually gotten wrong.

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